Originally Posted by saudade
It is true that many new to poly want firm, potentially restrictive rules as they dip their toes in. It's also true that members of long-standing relationships (mono or poly) often have very firm rights and responsibilities.
And of course this can bring up the secondary part to a ruleset. Everyone moves at different speeds. I like being wet and jump in after getting my toe wet. My wife is more inclined to move slowly. While its not a hard and fast rule, we both have to meet in the middle and get wet at more or less the same pace until certain comforts are met.
At least I am finding that right now...