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Old 03-26-2014, 01:56 AM
OpenMind OpenMind is offline
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 7
Default Stay a V, or become a Triad?

This is my first post here, so please go gently with me.

I'm in a fairly new V-formation poly relationship. My lover and I are one side of the V. The other side is my lover and her girlfriend. (Their relationship is primary, and of just slightly longer duration.)

For the sake of discussion, the all-female cast of characters is:
Alice = me
Betty = my lover (also Cindy's girlfriend)
Cindy = Betty's girlfriend

Poly is a new thing for me, and for the most part I've been very comfortable being with someone who has another relationship. But soon Cindy and I will be meeting face-to-face for the first time, and I'm nervous about it. We don't really know anything about each other, except that we are both partners of Betty.

I hope we get along, but maybe we won't. And if we get along, there's an idea floating around that we may form a triad rather than a V. It all seems a bit "much" for such new relationships. But maybe I'm wrong, and if we're going to be a triad, it would make sense to form that sooner than later.

So I'm here seeking advice about turning a V into a triad, and especially if all the relationships are new. What are some things we should consider? Are there any concepts we can use to help it be successful? Pitfalls to avoid? Opinions about whether it makes sense to do it "now" or wait a while?

If it turns out Cindy and I don't get along, I'm fine with remaining a V. Or if Cindy really doesn't like me being around, I'd bow out completely with no hard feelings. (I'd miss Betty an awful lot, but respect the primary-ness of their relationship.)

I really do want your opinions about this situation, please. Thanks.

Last edited by OpenMind; 03-26-2014 at 02:17 AM. Reason: edited names for clarity, at the suggestion of nycindie
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