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Old 03-25-2014, 05:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vanquish View Post
Again, what you expect someone else means by a word isn't necessarily what I mean by that word. Different groups use terms differently.
Okay, but when people have seen it used one way, it's pretty unreasonable for someone to expect them to infer another meaning out of it - not without confusion. Getting bent out of shape over it seems counterproductive.

If I (for some odd reason) were in London and went to the gym, then started complaining about how sore my fanny was, I'd have no reason to get upset over people not realizing I mean my *ass*.

And yeah, apologies for going way off topic. As for the post, I do agree that the metaphor was laid on a bit thickly. The author could have worked in the Augustus Gloop metaphor without overdoing it. The setting of boundaries? Ideally, you shouldn't feel you need to, but "bull in the china shop" partners do exist and do need to be worked with. Some won't rein themselves in (I see this on the mono/poly list over and over again), which leaves the other partner exasperated and grasping at straws. If people can't be grownups, then they're asking to be treated like children.

However, if the other partner can't say what they need to, the problem is on their side as well. Messy.
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk

Last edited by YouAreHere; 03-25-2014 at 05:12 PM. Reason: Whoops... Forgot one of the points of the article...
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