Originally Posted by Magdlyn
More thoughts: If your h has trouble doing aftercare, and yet, he has a D/s relationship with your shared gf, C, am I to understand it's been YOUR role to do aftercare for her after she scenes with your shared male partner? Is that the dealio? You're his cleanup woman? And now he wants your service to care for this new chica as well?
Time to really regroup and think about all this. Do you enjoy doing aftercare for C because she is your friend/lover? Or are you coming to resent that as well? Do you see how this is letting your shared male lover off the hook for developing his aftercare skills for when he wants a new partner?
No to almost all of those questions. I rarely do any aftercare for C, she occasionally does for me, but mostly he does for both of us (together or individually). He 'understands' our reactions now and he accepts that we react differently from each other and differently in the sense that the reaction is not the same every time. I think I have been the 'interpreter' to some extent in the past, but C is much better at communicating in a way that he understands now. The only yes would be that I really do enjoy doing aftercare for C but that is different, I'm not going to do it for anyone else.