Originally Posted by opalescent
Marcus, I'm curious, why would two metamours who don't like each other lead you to start looking for cowgirl behavior? The two are not necessarily related.
On one end it would be an intellectual curiosity for me if I end up dating two people who just can't seem to get along. It would be one of those "what is it about my desires which draw me to two people who are repelled by one another?". My poly experience with multiple metamours was positive in which all of us got along pretty well and I could "get" why my partner liked them.
The situation which would make me start to immediately watch out for cowgirl behavior would be intense dislike from one party to another. Not wanting to spend time with someone for whatever reason is nothing new, but having an actually negative opinion or some personality grievance would make me wonder. That isn't to say that possessiveness is necessarily the cause but I'd certainly perk up my ears to keep an eye on it.
So it would be a matter of degree for me. What I was thinking when I mentioned the cowgirl concern was the super-drama on these boards with a metamour freaking out with high school drama regarding another metamour. I find that adults don't frequently despise acquaintances.