More thoughts: If your h has trouble doing aftercare, and yet, he has a D/s relationship with your shared gf, C, am I to understand it's been YOUR role to do aftercare for her after she scenes with your shared male partner? Is that the dealio? You're his cleanup woman? And now he wants your service to care for this new chica as well?
Time to really regroup and think about all this. Do you enjoy doing aftercare for C because she is your friend/lover? Or are you coming to resent that as well? Do you see how this is letting your shared male lover off the hook for developing his aftercare skills for when he wants a new partner?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, former swinger, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years