It is different from deciding to have another biological child because legal authorities are involved, poking into your lives and choices and mistakes... getting knocked up involves no one but you and your 2 sets of reproductive organs. This was your worry a few posts back. You didn't think it through, it seems to me.
I am confused about the timeline, but it seems to me as if you 2 looked into fostering, then adoption, as soon as you got to Australia. You didn't mention it on this blog until the teenager was already living with you.
I know you've got a nanny and you had a moving company pack, move, unpack and arrange all your belongings. I sure didn't have that, being a person of a less than stellar income. I can also see that you like to keep busy, so you gave up a few hours at work, a few hours a week with a lover, and needed to fill the gap. After all, both your biological babies are in school full time, and have a nanny for when they are home!
It's why Brad and Angelina can adopt or give birth to like, 8 kids and still have busy careers. Stacks and stacks of money.
I don't know if money can cover the sketchiness of you having had a 2nd partner who aided and abetted you in causing havoc in your family. I hope it works out with the adoption authorities so your children aren't hurt again by losing their new big sister.
And now it seems to me you're using Jesus to excuse and continue in your anorexia?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 38) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years