@Dagferi, I don't wish to leave my husband, nor do I wish to go back to monogamy, so I accept that for the near future, I can only accommodate a "secondary-type" relationship. At first, I can see someone one or two afternoons and/or evenings a week, and once things progress, I can spend a night or two a month away from home. Down the road, that might evolve as husband becomes more comfortable. If not, and there was someone in my life up for the role of second partner, I'd have to make some tough choices. We've only been at this open marriage thing a year and a half, so there's still possibility of growth. No current need to go "all or nothing."
Time being, I'm ok with the primary/secondary thing. I can see how it could work--you know, I find some understanding married woman who wants a girlfriend, or a guy who divides his time between here and someone else. But, yeah, even a secondary I want to be able to treat like a PERSON IN MY LIFE, so I'm trying to negotiate that balance.
@alibabe_muse Wow, I would NEVER ask my husband to sit down to a meeting with me and my lover and their lover to hash over state of the polyship. I would meet a mile-high wall of resistance! I'm the one who wants multiple relationships, not him, and I acknowledge that. I think it was great that you met your metamours, I would like my husband to get to a point where he's comfortable just doing that.
Early 40's female, bisexual, married and open.
Last edited by LoveBunny; 03-24-2014 at 08:56 PM.