You have to ask yourself this.... How feasible is it really going to be to be able to have the relationships you want with ALL partners if your current partner requires no contact or glimmer of existence in regards to other partners.
There is NO WAY I could have both husbands in my life if I couldn't communicate with the other in their presence. I only have small windows throughout the day I can communicate it Murf due to his work schedule. What about important life events? shouldn't other other partner be apart of all aspects of your life too?
I know I would not be happy being a dirty little secret. If Butch had required that Murf be completely hidden from him then I would have had to make a choice. Continue on in a monogamous relationship with Butch or leave the marriage if I could not live that way.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.