I love all these replies, thank you!!
Gala, you make an excellent point. he is very concerned with fairness. I like another suggestion of saying I love Nudge and J just as much as I love my son and both of his sisters all the same "amount".
I do worry a little about letting the cat out of the bag cause of my father. My mom and sister know, my coworkers, our friends, but not my father or my inlaws. The inlaws I don't care as much, not close to them. But Dad is very religious...so. that'd be interesting
keep on keeping on