What an amazing journey! Congrats to you for really pushing through some adversity and still following your gut feelings.
One of the things that strikes me when I read about Coco Chanel and the possibility with the skater chick, is an issue that I've had to deal with. Something you alluded to in your last paragraph. Only investing yourself to the same or similar depth as your partner.
It's easier said than done and I feel it's a coping mechanism of the younger generation. Before today's "anything goes and we're not sure what that means" generation, you knew that the eventual destination was going down a path towards marriage and while everyone wasn't always invested the same amount, there were tiers of involvement. Tiers like: first date, dating, dating steady, living together, engaged, married etc. They were ways of checking in and seeing if partners agreed.
Now days it's different. Dating a 20 year old has taught me that there's a positive logic to how fluid relationships have become in recent times. People follow how they feel up and down and in and out and to the extent that they want to...not to a tier they didn't want to be. It can work as long as people check in and are honest. But it requires a lot more precision in pulling back on the reigns when you're the one falling head over heels in love.
Can't wait to read more.
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.
Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.