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Old 03-23-2014, 12:31 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,831
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I'm sorry you struggle.

Here's what stands out to me from my POV.

PROBLEM
  • he wants me to go and watch him have a BDSM scene with his acquaintance.
  • he asked me to think it over a few days and answer
  • he's willing to accept my decision.

MY WANTS
  • My first reaction was to say no, that it is outside my comfort zone and not something I want or need to be part of.
  • my real objection is that I don't want to take (emotional?) responsibility for this other person and if he wants this it is up to him to negotiate it with C.
  • I don't want the responsibility of being the one who everyone depends on (emotionally).
  • (Unspoken -- I didn't expect to get close/involved with C, and then I did. I don't expect or want to get close with his play person so I rather not get involved there at all.)

I'm guessing you mean emotional responsibility there? I'm totally guessing the last bullet point. I could guess wrong.

But basically I'm hearing "NO."

You could tell him you don't want to attend his scene with the person, and that you expect him to also ask C about her feelings on it. Remind him you made it clear that C has to know and agree too, you are not willing to hide anything from her.

Seems straightforward enough. What is making it hard for you to tell him "no?"

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-23-2014 at 12:34 PM.
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