Thread: Sailing Solo
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Old 03-22-2014, 08:04 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I once had a lover who preferred other things to PIV, and I always accommodated him, but at some point had to say, "I like fucking, and want more of it. I like everything else we do, but if there isn't enough fucking, I'm left feeling hungry. I always accommodate your wishes, so I think it's a bit selfish not to accommodate mine more often. Otherwise, I can't help but be disappointed."

After that, he fucked longer and more often. My request played to his ego, I realized, because he hated the idea of being seen as a selfish lover.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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