Dating BDSM-hipsters right after divorce (Part 2)
We had planned on going out to dinner with Casey dressed in one of the sweet little dresses I had bought her, but she told me how wonderful the first session was, and how wonderful fucking was on pot, so instead we decided to stay home and play again. Again more orgasm denial and control. More ropeplay. More trips to subspace and yes, more breathplay. When I say breathplay, I mean the use of my hand and nothing else on her neck. I have done this many times before and prefer it to a plastic bag or chain-choke collar because I have direct control and there’s no physical malfunction possible. This is something she had asked for and something I enjoyed also. It seemed to deepen her subspace journey and increase her frequency of orgasm. I began speaking to her in a deeper, slower, more purposeful voice. (I use three types of voices usually: a sweet, encouraging, reassuring voice, a more neutral, flat voice for changes in position or tone, and this deep, darker voice for persuasion and instruction.)
Here’s where it gets weird. At one point as she was coming out of subspace, she seemed to think I had put her under hypnosis. She asked sweetly, “You put me under hypnosis, didn’t you, Daddy?”
“No, kitten. I didn’t,” I responded very clearly.
But she continued to insist that I had and was truly convinced I had. And the more I told her that I hadn’t the more she resisted and wouldn’t believe me. At one point I said, “If I really did put you under hypnosis and control your complete mind, then I’m commanding you to text your friend L. and tell her x,y,z.” When she refused, I explained that her refusal was proof I’d done nothing of the sort, but still she insisted. She yelled,”RED. RED.” and I knew that we had reached a dangerous point.
I determined that my only course of action for her protection and security was to just go with what she believed and work within those rules. I told her that I had used hypnosis, but that I was releasing her from all control, present and future. I wanted her to be at ease and feel safe.
At this point she got even angrier and more determined. She dressed up and headed out of the house. Going somewhere unidentified. Having just gotten out of subspace. Still not entirely clear-headed in my estimation. This worried me so I followed her. The more I followed the more she wanted me to back off, but I explained I was worried and needed her to come back. I tried being sweet as well as being forceful (voice-wise, not with hands), but nothing worked. She sped up and I sped up after her saying, “You’d better stop,” meaning not to get too far from home. Meaning that I was worried about her.
Part of me was wondering if this was part of a rape roleplay that she had indicated she wanted to try, but I didn't go down that way. We would have needed to discuss the details and parameters first. As soon as I tried to get her to go back to the house, she started screaming, “HELP! HELP! HELP!” at the top of her lungs. As this was the first time a woman had ever done this in my presence, much less directed at my actions, I was taken aback and nervous to say the least. I tried one more time to assure her I wasn’t trying to hurt her, but by then the residents of the nearby apartment complex were coming outside to see what was the matter. I disengaged to reduce the stress on her and also to avoid suspicion for something I didn’t do.
I walked around the block and returned to the house. I noticed that two police cars were now there and guessed they were trying to help Casey. Gathering my things, I put everything back into my suitcases and put them in the front parlor. I got nervous when I saw flashlights that seemed to be hunting for me outside around the house, so I went upstairs to see if the female roommate was there and could help the situation. She was nowhere to be found.
For 30-45 minutes by my watch, I stayed upstairs, sitting on the floor and watching the cop cars. I was worried I was about to be taken out in handcuffs and arrested for some sort of assault. I’m quite law-abiding, so that was no small threat to me, though I was still worried about Casey and how she must be feeling. I eventually began to descend the stairs behind the house and Casey met me on one of the landings. The instant she saw me, she ran off wailing and screaming for help. I did not pursue her, though I did verbally attempt to calm her down. Still nothing worked. I put myself in her shoes and realized why she still might feel scared. I walked through the house with my hands up, at a slow, deliberate pace. Yards ahead of me, she got in her car and drove away.
Seeing my things, I got them and put them in my car where I was confronted by the police. They asked me for my version of events and I recounted them as best I could. To Casey’s credit she told them that I had not abused her physically and that it was part of mind control. This last particular point wasn’t taken seriously by the officers, but I always referred to her in a respectful tone myself. Once they asked me to leave town I did so. I did text her back a few times and then call her, at which time the police told me not to do so any more. I complied. I just wanted my friend to be ok.
I drove back to Montgomery worried sick about how she felt and reanalyzing the mistakes I had made that night. Just as I hit the city limits, Casey called me and asked where I was. I told her I was in Montgomery and she asked me, “Why? You should come back so that we can talk about what happened.”
Before I could answer, someone, perhaps a friend attempting to protect her took the phone from her and wouldn’t give it back, though she clearly had more to say. He threatened me in several ways and refused all of my requests for us to “reset” and discuss an adult course of action. I decided to let things cool down and later a few more texts were exchanged, but always with Casey initiating.
I fully admit that I made several important mistakes and am willing to bear the consequences of them. But Casey really misunderstood what was going on.
Please don’t misunderstand. I do not blame two hits of pot for all of this. There were several boundaries that should not have been crossed that were. I do, however, feel that the mix of pot (a strain of which still has not been determined. I don’t think we’ll ever know if it had something additional in it.), dizzying breathplay, and a trip into subspace did contribute to the confusion.
The time we spent apart was really hard. Even though it was one date....after weeks and weeks of constant contact, I felt like we were moving towards a future together. One that we'd talked about in detail. And then it just blew up.
So after that big blowup...she invoked a protector. They are bandmates and she says he's like a brother to her. She wanted to keep going with the relationship, but once she got the protector involved...it got harder. He asked for my side of the story. I responded with some detail, but I requested that we discuss things in person so the words wouldn't get misunderstood.
To be perfectly frank, I felt like he was going to use my own words to attack me, so I didn't want to bend over for his ass raping. And boy was I right. He sent me back this VERY emotional message where I could tell he was getting off on being her protector. He's in his own relationship, but that doesn't mean he didn't secretly have something in the back of his head/heart for sweet and spicy Casey.
So....She kept messaging me...and messaging me....so I gave in and despite the protector's commands not to talk to her...we started up again.
To be continued
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.
Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.
Last edited by vanquish; 03-21-2014 at 08:35 PM.