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Old 03-21-2014, 06:28 AM
elemental elemental is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 60
Default Second coming

Thanks Bella for the kind words xo

Cinder and I worked through our first break up with Raven. Cinder was very relieved to have her out of our life, and I was relieved to have some emotional normalcy return. I think seeing me choose our marriage over my relationship with Raven was what Cinder needed. It seemed to brighten her disposition towards me and she relaxed more in the relationship, although she can be pretty uptight in general. Especially if things don’t go according to plan, or her way. We settled back into our domestic routine, and it wasn’t long before she was back trolling for women, for our next sexual adventure, we had a couple of short flings, and then there was a bomb shell. Cinder and Raven where talking again. Seems Cinder had reached out to R. and made some amends, and she still had feelings for her. They had begun talking, and Cinder floated the idea of independent relationships. Her with men and women, me with… Raven? We got together for dinner and then made a spur of the moment hotel night of sex. Seemed like the triad was back on. The next morning Raven fessed up her feelings for me, and Cinder was actually supportive of it. I think she felt more comfortable with her because she was a known entity, as opposed to me finding my own girlfriend. But again it seemed like Cinder was front running, and she wanted to open up our marriage. It seemed like a logical progression to me, and I was open to it. Cinder already had an OKC account ( I didn’t) and she opened it to men, and began to look for a prospective boyfriend. I was supportive, because I am not a hypocrite. If I was going to have an independent relationship with Raven, then Cinder was free to find something that fit for her.

And did she ever. Seems like the guys flock to women on OKC. Soon she was messaging and texting with half a dozen guys, and loving all the attention. We worked through any feelings that came up and she seemed to be having a great time. All the while encouraging me to re connect with Raven, which I did. We have a fondness for each other. She had finished her schooling and had moved to a neighboring province for the summer. Cinder was all high with her NRE OKC manhunt that she giddily helped plan a trip to Ravens home town, going so far as to book me a ticket. I was pretty impressed with her compassion and openness, but still had an uneasy feeling that the scene would soon change, as it usually did.

Cinder had settled on a male lover, someone married and also seeing another woman, and it felt ok. I remember having some heart connected pangs when they spent their first night together, but generally I have those emotions dialed in and was happy and supportive for her. She and her beau txted a lot, and emailed. He was pretty busy so it was a very casual thing. She had made plans to go away with him the weekend I was to go see Raven, and it approached quickly…

It was the week before my trip to see Raven. We had talked and txted, and we were both looking forward to seeing each other with Cinders blessing. Then, Cinder’s guy cancelled their plans last minute. I felt that familiar uneasy knot tighten up in my gut. I knew Cinder needed her distraction from thinking about me and Raven together, and now her fun was gone. Three days before my trip. I had a bad feeling, but she assured me it was ok and even drove me to the local airport, kissed me and told me to have fun and sent me on my way. I remember the drive out, and I could feel her tension, and I knew everything was not ok, but trusted her word that she could handle it. That was not the case.

As soon as I got to Ravens place, Cinder texted me that sex between me and Raven was off the table, she was “uncomfortable” with it. We were kinda devastated, because our sexual connection was one of the main reasons to get back together. I felt betrayed and Cinder and I txted back and forth, and I was pissed. I couldn’t wrap my head around why she would do this. I felt set up, was this a test? To see if I would obey her from a distance? I HATE being controlled and manipulated. She was coming up with all these on the spot rule changes, no PIV, no coming from oral… what a joke. I told her as much. Finally she just said to go for it. So we did. And it was awesome. Except for the 30-40 texts I woke up to the next day. She had been up all night having a nervous breakdown. I had to come home right NOW. She needed me NOW. I was cheating on her by having unsanctioned sex with Raven, and on and on and on. WTF kind of hell had I woken up to? This was a nightmare.

So on it went. Txting, phone calls, reassurances, pleading crying yelling. I finally just turned my phone off. It didn’t stop. I was so embarrassed for Raven, to be right back in this dysfunction again with my marriage. It was Insane. I decided to stay the couple of days, because after this I would probably never see Raven again (again). I was so angry. I felt set up. I dealt with my emotions around her overnights with her lover, so why couldn’t she? It felt so unfair and just bred resentment in my heart. She was so out of her mind messy with her emotions I felt so far away from her. It was the first time I really questioned my relationship, really saw her behaviour as selfish. I could understand the uncomfortable feelings but the way in which she expressed them was totally unacceptable. She even started to harass Raven when I turned my phone off. It was straight up abusive. We said our goodbyes when it was time for my flight back, she wished me luck, and we both acknowledged that this was never going to work with Cinder constantly pulling the strings. So I went back to my wife and my life and left the dream of our triad behind. We had broken up for a second time.

Last edited by elemental; 03-21-2014 at 06:32 AM.
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