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Old 03-21-2014, 06:21 AM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 34

Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
I love Dag, even though we disagree at times. This doesn't happen to be one of those times - with the information given I would agree, it sounded pretty creepy.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but it's a theoretical relationship. I would avoid looking for a person to fit into a pre-determined relationship structure. That is really just setting everyone up for having failed expectations. Instead, I suggest letting her put on her big girl panties and do her own looking for her own boyfriend. This theoretical boyfriend coming into his new theoretical polyandry setup might be a tad intimidated by her current partner having his hands all up in the process.

Do as you will, just my personal take to help navigate some of the traps you are setting up for yourself.

I don't team date, so my experiences might not be very helpful for your arrangement. I avoid involving myself in my partners relationships just like I avoid getting involved in my friends marriages... it's not my business and I have plenty of my own fires to put out without getting in their stuff. If they request my input I will, of course, help if I can and I feel comfortable with it.

My preference is to associate with reasonable, self-sufficient, attractive (to me) people who find me enticing and don't have any interest in dictating what I do with my time/body/emotions.

I also like long walks on the beach

Long walks on the beach, huh? Haha, that made me laugh.

As to the substance of your responses, I suppose it did sound a tad creepy because I did not provide much background or information into the details.

I do see your point on the problem with limiting oneself to a specific structure and the looming possibility of failed expectations. Thankfully, we had really only just started to begin to look for potential other partners. She is curious, and I want her to be able to express this curiosity if it makes her happy. I do not have any specific dynamic in mind other than me supporting her and being at her side. I know she has a desire to explore her want for multiple partners, just did not want to hinder that in any way.

I appreciate the feedback, it is helpful to me in order to think about things. Being relatively new to poly, I am always trying to evaluate everything--- myself, my partner, and the relationship dynamic--- so, that I can communicate better with her and stay on the good path.


If you do not mind me asking, are you currently involved in any relationships? I would be interested to hear anything you would have to share
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