Closing down the blog
Well, this blog has played out its story. Time to close down. If I write more, it'll be on a different topic.
Amy has gone through another cycle of leaving for good, this time for good. Ha ha.
The joy of spending time with someone as insightful and observant as her is that you feel seen and known and find passion with someone who has gone to their innermost spaces and explored them thoroughly. The sadness of it is that the person has learned these skills because of the shit they dealt with as a kid and in a shitty marriage - there is wariness, lack of trust, and need for safety.
In the end, Amy didn't want the compromises connected to my marriage. A huge deal is that she wouldn't actually enter my house - hasn't showed up for months, and the whole relationship played out at her house, as a result. It was an imbalance that never allowed us to establish ourselves in a normal life. The only way to succeed in our relationship was to do what she'd done - leave my spouse. She wanted me to live with her, but didn't want to take me away from my family in the process.
There are a lot of details not worth rehashing - in the end, we weren't able to find common ground, and she left. I wanted her to be co-primary, she wanted me to be primary, and we couldn't find a way to do it.
Thanks everyone for reading.
Willa: my wife
Amy: someone Willa and I have both been involved with
Ella: a many-years long-distance relationship of mine, that I don't blog about