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Old 03-20-2014, 01:47 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,357

But only way I know to handle new things is to take things slowly and do a lot of thinking (imagining all possible situations beforehand). And that means I need to ask them to slow things down for me, and that means I feel guilt for having to do so.

We all come as we come. Part of the price of admission to date you is to live with you having Asperger's. It's no different than dating someone who needs glasses, a hearing aid, diabetic medication, has kids, is allergic to pets, etc. People come as they do.

It sounds like your partner and his new dating potential are willing to learn and roll with it. So how can you become more willing to let go of the guilt so YOU can roll with it?

On the positive side. He stayed by my side while I had the meltdown and didn't feel threatened by it. Afterwards he said that now he understands my need to be informed about possible changes.
See? Willing to learn and roll with it.

I feel like I need to get to know Sunflower, she was someone I was hoping to make friends with before the whole thing. And I really think getting to know her would make things easier for me, as all things unknown tend to trigger me.
Sounds like you identified a trigger then. Even if Sunflower doesn't work out, you and partner know now that you want to ramp up slower to meeting new potentials of his and that actually meeting them and getting to know them makes things easier for you to avoid having an Asperger's meltdown.

It's a learning curve for everything. I see that you feel guilty about it sometimes but... aren't all people on a learning curve?

What makes it hard to let the guilt go? You thinking you "should" this or that?

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