London, nice to hear that I'm not alone, but sorry to hear things have been hard for you.
Ok, so if I accept that I need to take things slowly (and other people accept this too), then what does this actually mean? One thing about being an aspie is that things don't generalize that easily. So will I have to go through this chaos every time either one of us meets someone new? Or will the newness wear off eventually? And how long would that take… For example I have two children 9 and 5 years old, and this year was the first one when I didn't stress about their birthdays (even when surprising things happened). And what I used to stress was the unfamiliarity of the situation. If we'd move, I propably would start to stress again.
But I'm not one to give up or to avoid scary emotions. I just wonder how much will I have to work to be able to actually live the life I want.