Generally I think we communicate well. There is nothing we can't talk about and even when the subject is difficult we remain calm and listen and try to understand where the other one is coming from. With this insident though… not so much. He has a tendency to say things in a way that makes them sound a lot worse. For example now he meant to say that there's propably something happening, but he ended up saying that he is with someone (that he hadn't even expressed interest towards before). After I calmed down from that one, we talked (all three of us), but it seemed like every little thing just made me feel worse and worse until I asked to have time to properly relax and think things through. I really appreciate the fact that they aggreed to this.
Yes, it's guilt I'm feeling. For always being the difficult one and having to process everything more thoroughly. Once I came very near to having a meltdown because someone tried to get me to go to a beach I had never been to. Too many new things to process from that one too… So this is what I'm dealing with. I read the jealousy theory text, and I think I do feel jealous too, but that seems like something I know how to work with. But only way I know to handle new things is to take things slowly and do a lot of thinking (imagining all possible situations beforehand). And that means I need to ask them to slow things down for me, and that means I feel guilt for having to do so
On the positive side. He stayed by my side while I had the meltdown and didn't feel threatened by it. Afterwards he said that now he understands my need to be informed about possible changes. I feel like I need to get to know Sunflower, she was someone I was hoping to make friends with before the whole thing. And I really think getting to know her would make things easier for me, as all things unknown tend to trigger me.