Your guilt over asking them to slow down is contributing to your meltdown. Don't feel guilty for asking as long as you are working on things.
Aspergers and change don't do well at first
. Are you getting what you need communication wise? Is your partner keeping you informed of schedules, plans, etc or do things just seem to happen last minute?
Do some "tag" searches, there is a lot of info on the board about making the transition.