Thank you for the reply Polybynature.
That was my consensus as well. Also - I didn't make it a "rule" I don't have that authority. I made a request and did tel her that if she felt uncomfortable with either request I would find a way to deal with my misgivings.
After about a week, and after posting here I came to exactly the conclusion you brought up. I was being sexist and unreasonable. A few days later I spoke with the eife and told her I was dropping my request and I explained why.
To be completely honest I'm still a little nervous about how I will feel if she ever is interested in another man, but we'll continue to communicate and be supportive and I'll find a way through the feelings. The thought does not distress me the way I thought it would and I think things are going to be okay
Thanks again for your reply.