Originally Posted by Devirajni
I am afraid to ask for what I want because I don't want him to think it is too much trouble to maintain the relationship with me, that his husband is easier to deal with [...] He said "It's exhausting, time-consuming, and hard work. It has to be worth it." Then he turned over toward me and said "You're worth it." I will hold on to that and get through this week.
I have had the same difficulty, and it's taken me quite a while to get past feeling like "the problem child" when I air my needs/problems. I still do feel like the only complainer sometimes, but at this point (2+ years into my relationship), I'm getting better at believing that each discussion won't be the one that breaks the camel's back.
You won't know if he means it unless you actually do talk to him about these things - it's scary as hell! But once you get through it a few times, you will believe him when he says you're worth it. It took me a while, myself.
Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
Last edited by YouAreHere; 03-19-2014 at 08:34 PM.
Reason: Me no word good