Well, we ended up having the discussion I expected to. I realized I had been half-heartedly sticking with our swinger lifestyle because it was making Curls happy. Curls realized she was sticking with our swinger lifestyle because it was making me happy. Freckles was dabbling in our swinger lifestyle because it was making Curls and I happy. And here I realize that I'M the one that goes on and on about good communication.
We had a talk about it last night and made the decision to put the swinging on hold indefinitely. When Curls and I got into that lifestyle, we did it because we wanted something new and different. Then we realized that we already have something new and different right under our own roof right now. All three of us are sure that we will change our mind and start going back to the house parties and our swinger club and all that shit eventually, right now we are going to use the free time we have to focus on just being together. We very likely MIGHT continue going to our club, if for no other reason that just because it is a very sexually open environment that the three of us can have a night out as a triad, showing affection for each other without all the annoying stares and raised eyebrows. But we won't be having any other partners for a while.
This also brought up another point of our arrangement... From the beginning, Curls and I tried really hard to be very hands-off to the possibility of Freckles having other relationships. Although the two of us are committed to fidelity inside the triad, we always allowed for the idea that Freckles would be interested in dating or taking another partner outside of the two of us. Freckles told us during that same conversation that she wants to be held to the same standard that we hold ourselves to. She says that we work so hard to make her feel like she's included in everything, she doesn't want to mess that up.
For right now, she says she isn't interested in other relationships either. Curls was totally okay with this, I was a little bit apprehensive. Part of me is always looking for problems long before they surface, and the other part of me just feels that Freckles is younger than us... I think that she SHOULD be given the option to meet someone her own age if she so chooses. Obviously, the choice is entirely hers, though.
I wish I could help her shake the feeling that she's going to mess up. Freckles ALWAYS feels like she's right on the verge of fucking up. It doesn't matter what it is, relationships, work, school... whatever. She has self confidence issues and is always underneath this cloud where she's certain that anything good she has going on is about to end, and it will be her fault when it does.