Honestly, I think your biggest problem is that you keep wishing that what you have should be different than what it is. The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is appreciate the relationships you have for what they are, instead of hoping they will turn into something you think they should be. Live your life in the here and now.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein