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Old 03-19-2014, 12:02 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 9,894

"How did you split the costs of living -- evenly, like normal roommates? Or did you pay a specific rent, as you were moving into an already established household? We've been talking about how to do things and there really isn't a ton of guidance out there, that I have seen yet."
I think there are so many possible ways of doing that. It almost needs its own thread (if it doesn't have one already, I haven't thoroughly searched). In my case, our V came together just at the time when we all moved together from Michigan to New Mexico. So the house was new to all three of us. As for money (house payments, groceries, whatever), we've always mostly pooled our resources and called it "funny money." But I know that many poly units split the costs very specifically with the individuals involved, and everyone is responsible for making sure their part gets taken care of. Whereas in my V, Snowbunny really takes the lead in managing the money -- all the money that is: our combined funds.

"Did you have a lot of issues surrounding spillover noise from bedrooms? You mentioned you could hear your metamour outside your door during sex, that sounds awkward!"
Exactly. If I could hear him, I had to assume that he could hear me. Let's just say I tried to keep the noise level down to super spy level, and Snowbunny tried to do so too but found it to be more of a challenge ... I mean, come on, it sucks when your only opportunities to have sex, you feel like a jealous male nanny (i.e. the sex police) is out there taking notes of your every moan and shuffle. That was crazy!

We solve that problem now by only having sex when we're at home and Brother-Husband is at work. Honestly, I think that makes it easier for him as well. He's all onboard with this poly ideal -- in theory -- but out-of-sight/out-of-mind is a much easier way for him to live the ideal in practice.

Keep the questions coming, I always tackle them with a willing spirit.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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