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Old 04-11-2010, 10:25 PM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520

*laughs* I'll see just how that little fable plays out when my son gets out of prison in mid-June, huh? He'll want to step right into the role he had before he fell. Gonna be stressful. But I can handle it -- I've gotten real good at self-control and emotional triage.
I really hope he can clean up and stay clean. I have a similar although a little more distant story. A very dear friend who I've known for 15+ years is a recovered Heroin, Cocaine and Pot addict. She is like a little sister to me and when I could not help her, heal her, in essence control her to quit I learned some valuable lessons.

1. People won't change until they are ready. It sucks, but it's true. She has spent time in jail, time in rehab, had some major losses in her life and almost died after her ex beat her up. Through all this she was a heavy user. Then, about 2 years ago, practically out of the blue, she decided she had had enough. She quit the hard drugs cold turkey, on her own. She quit smoking pot about a year or so later. She has been clean ever since.

2. Being there for someone can be enough. Through all of this turmoil, there were only two people who were there for her, willing to listen and not judge her, encouraging her that she could do better if she wanted and when she was ready. That was my mom and I. To this day, she still believes that if we had not been there for her in her darkest hours she would have killed herself a long time ago.

Not sure what else I want to say to close this post, so I'll just say good luck and Love your son, and not the mistakes he makes. Let him know that when he is ready, you are there to support him, emotionaly at the least.
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
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