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Old 03-18-2014, 01:25 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,374

Mags, issues with his brother have been building for a while - his brother isn't paying the bills even with PunkRock's assistance, and he hasn't been truthful about a lot of things - he has been taking the money and spending like he doesn't need help. PunkRock went home last night and found that his brother's car might get repo'd and a disconnect notice for the electric. His brother keeps saying that the house is going to be foreclosed on, but PunkRock has been paying rent up to this point - so why isn't the mortgage being paid? They are supposed to talk today. From my point of view, PunkRock seems fairly torn between wanting to help and frustration at the fact that he is enabling his brother's bad spending habits and having to be his support all the time. Kind of like, trying to help someone that won't help themselves.

I am perfectly ok with whatever he decides to do there - that is his relationship to navigate. If he decides to try and assist his brother some more, we have been making this long distance thing work so far, and it is working well. So no worries.

We've talked about PunkRock moving closer, rather than in with us, as well. He does a lot of contract work, and so far all of the business has been halfway between us, so just moving to the south side of Baltimore would shorten the driving distance considerably. However, the people he works with are really dragging their feet it seems on finding the next house to flip, so he is uncertain as to whether he should find another line of work to pursue or wait it out. Moving to my city wouldn't improve his commute to the contract work, but it wouldn't hurt it either. He'd be the same distance away, but not have to pay tunnel or bridge tolls anymore. So I guess that is a positive.

So yeah, he has some choices to make. He can cool his heels where he is for a while, in his current situation, if need be. I don't feel like there is any major pressure on him to quick drop everything and move in with us, or out on his own. We are both excited at the idea of his moving in here, but none of it is set in stone yet. He needs to do some lifework planning, I think.

In the meantime, I need to clean out that room anyway. I had it on my radar for spring cleaning and it will commence soon. The only thing is, it is in a series of cleanups. We have a shed out back which is empty. Well, almost empty - our lawnmower is in it. There is a hole in the roof that has been there for a while, and it just has a tarp covering it. PunkRock plans to fix this for us this week or weekend - whenever he comes over next. After this is done, a bunch of the extra furniture I have stored in one half of my two car garage can be moved out to the shed, which will make that space accessible.

Accessibility in the garage is important, because there is a loft area above that has a pull-down ladder, that can't currently be pulled down due to all the furniture underneath. I need this loft space, which is currently empty, to relocate all of my seasonal decorations to, from the walk-in closet where PunkRock would be, if/when he moves in with us.

Does that follow? lol

He also rents a storage area right now, that he needs to sort through and decide what he wants to sell and keep, and that needs to be done prior to any move.

That's all practical, more than emotional stuff though. PunkRock has some hearing loss, so I think overhearing sexual activities may actually turn out to be less of an issue than we expected. I was really shocked when he told me he didn't hear anything the other day. One of the things I really pressed for when we were talking about him moving in, was that he not only has a private bedroom to retreat to, but has a space in the basement as well. That way, if he does hear anything, or is aware of something he'd rather not be privy to, he will have another location within the house far removed from it. My husband's office is in the basement, in a separate room, and I think that PunkRock needs another space as well. Unfortunately, all we can offer at this time is a corner of the basement, but it is large enough to fit his painting desk there, rather than having that take up some of his bedroom space.

I have all of this super happy excited feeling built up around PunkRockAwesomesauce, and all of it feels like NRE giddiness. I recognize that and love it and enjoy the squee. But there is also this part of me that is centered and breathing and calm and all of it says, this is what you have been wanting, this is what you have been waiting for and it is really happening. Just this peacefulness. It's all pretty great.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (39F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (43M)
Seeing SirGawain (39M)
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