Thank you so much ButtercupGirl and LovingRadiance!
You have both helped me a lot. I think I just really needed to hear that not being perfect at this from day one wasn't a sign that I was fooling myself. It's a scary thought, this fooling oneself business
I was prepared for difficult emotions, or so I thought. But with everything going way faster than I expected and becoming real so fast. I think I got overwhelmed by it all and allowed my feelings of discomfort make me doubt if I really wanted the whole poly thing or not.
I am in a much better place already
and now ready for the next wave to come ;-)
I've done a lot of work on myself, and the "Jealousy pdf" on morethantwo.com has been a tremendous help!! I strongly recommend it
Thank you again! Now my live-in partner's feelings seem to be a much bigger issue than my own. But that should be dealt with in a different thread...