Please, dont shudder redpeper. There's a lot I've left out on the post and to get to this situation we all had our share of blame. My biggest mistake was waiting for things to change because it was hinted on their part it will and because I thought it would get better with the passing of time.
It has not, in fact IMO this was the core of many problems in the relationship.
We all started this relationship not knowing what it was that we were doing and we continued stumbling on the dark. So I assumed it was all a growing process, waiting for comfort levels to grow.
I thought with time she would grow comfortable with the idea, and I would have the space for intimacy that him and I needed to make our relationship grow. She stated that she needs to be involved in all the sexual aspects for the relationship to work for her.
I agree with you GroundedSpirit, beds are not only for sex. And yes the cuddling and sleeping and waking together was very special indeed. But he feels that he would miss the wholeness of us all, he'll be limited to express himself and he doesnt want the whole separate beds rutine.
In conclussion, we all have different needs that wont be met if we continue together. Of course knowing this doesnt make it a tiny bit easier for me.
We will go in separate ways, we have started the separation already. But it hurts you know? I love him, and I miss him so freaking much.
Sometimes knowing what is best for you, doesnt make you feel it's right.