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Old 03-14-2014, 02:35 PM
ButtercupGirl ButtercupGirl is offline
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 7
Default Totally normal!

Hi WhiteCloud,

What you are going through is normal for some people (including me). While intellectually I understand why I think poly is great, is the best option for me, etc, there are times when I am just not there emotionally. For instance, I love my partners and want them to be happy and to free to connect with other people, I truly do! But that doesn't mean that I won't at times feel insecure and freaked out when one of them gets all excited about someone new. I think it is rather rare for someone to never experience insecurity.

Yes, you will need to practice handling your insecurity, keeping negative thoughts at bay, and communicating. Poly takes a lot of work, but getting used to it and getting the thought processes and skills down takes time. I'd say give yourself a break.... keep working at it, but also know that it is okay not to be perfect at being poly right away, that the feelings you have are part of the growing process, and just make sure to talk to your partners about the things that come up for you.
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