Raven had answered Cinders ad on CL looking for a third. She was a student at a major university in a nearby big city. She said that our ad was the best on in WM4W. That was due to Cinderís talent at writing, she has a flowy prose and a way with words, very sensuous. So we made a date for dinner on one of our forays into the city. Raven was again considerably younger than me, and like Cinder an INTJ. Pretty, in an understated way, a little awkward. We had a lovely meal, and got to know each other a little bit, and at the end of the meal said our good byes. On the drive home C and I talked about Raven, and the path that had lead us to here. We were on the same team, and both loving life, the sex, our marriage, our adventures. We felt on top of our world. Soon after the girls decided that we would see Raven again, and we started on the path of a sexual relationship together.
Although this time, it was a little different. Sure, Raven and Cinder had sex, but Raven was also very interested in having sex with me, as much. Most of the girls we had been fucking where in it for their first Bi experience. Raven liked having a lot of kinky sex, being dominated, and roughed up. Cinder and I had experimented a little with this, but I had trouble fully dominating her in our sex play. For me she was such a dominant personality outside of our sex life, that I had already kind of become submissive to her, and it didnít sit well inside of me. So I struggled with that. I can remember the three of us fucking away, and Cinder being tired from a long week, and being done, while Raven and I just wanted to keep going. We would all stop, and at that time we all slept together in the same bed. I can remember lying there, heart pounding with desire for someone who was within reach, but that I was not or should not be allowed to touch sexually. It kind of fucked with my head.
At this time there was still a lot of rules around my interaction with the women we were having sex with. Cinder was at times very insecure and I felt needed to control access and communication to ease her anxiety of losing me to another woman? I guess that was it. I started to make noise about having more freedom to communicate, and it was a hard slog to get some freedoms in that regard. Eventually I had ravens phone #, with the understanding I would check with Cinder before I had any communication. It was difficult for me. I am much more of a free spirit, and donít actualise the best version of myself when I feel controlled. I struggled. One day I texted R. ďhave a great day, thinking of youĒ, which was out of our usual context. She checked in with Cider to see if indeed she and I could communicate like this in a daily mundane way. Had the rules changed? Apparently not. This caused a huge shit show of emotions, insecurity, accusations. I had transgressed an agreed upon boundary and we had to process and negotiate. I remember the intensity, the sheer anger and intensity which Cinder brought to bear over this act. I had gone against our agreed upon code of conduct, which created a new round of processing and emotional heavy lifting.
At this time I wish to interject that yes, I am a boundary pusher. When I feel something is unfair, and I donít feel that my rights are as equal to anyone elseís, even if I agree to a certain something albeit under a certain emotional duress, I will act upon what I feel is right. It is an undeniable truth in the fabric of my character, for better or worse. Again it was that bitter bile of resentment at being treated as a second class participant in the adventure. I resented that I had to have rules governing my conduct, while in my eyes Cinder got to enjoy all the communication and flirting that she wanted to. I felt marginalised to the doting hubby, who isnít he luck he gets to fuck two women at the same time. I remember C. explaining to me how lucky I was, and did I know any other women who let their husbands have threesome? But to me that wasnít the point. I wanted to be an equal partner in this. In all things. It was difficult, but we eventually got there. Our triad was up and running.