View Single Post
Old 03-14-2014, 12:40 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
I can't allow myself to be controlled anymore and I don't want to control anyone else . . .

I am not a possession that can be molded to fit her every insecurity . . .

I don't think our relationship can continue happily or grow with the idea that we can control each other . . .

She can stand by me in this or if she feels it is detrimental to her self respect she can make the decision for herself to move on.
These statements are very much indicative of your self-awareness. Brava, smart girl!

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
I told her I am willing to compromise on this situation but the controlling behavior will not be tolerated anymore.
This is great that you said that, but how will you back it up? It is likely she will try to get away with some form of control to test you and see how serious you are when you say that. So, what will be the consequences if she falls back into controlling behavior? You need to make that clear for both yourself and her.

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
*1 month transition period to get used to not having ownership of my bed
But she doesn't have ownership of it, it's your bed. What's there to "get used to?" This is a bit of coddling you're doing, IMHO. I think she needs the Band-Aid ripped off! Time to pull her head out of the sand and shake off her fantasy illusion of monogamy with you, and face reality!

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
*Ill buy new bedding
*We can set up a sleep area elsewhere for her if she needs it.
*I can sleep at her house.
Sleeping at her house how often? You need to be more specific.

I hope your talk goes well. Keep us posted!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote