Thread: A Dilemma
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Old 04-10-2010, 10:34 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by jv02vd View Post
This guy came along though, exactly her "type" (way more than me) and big on the poly scene. She's poly herself, so I gave permission for them to fool around a bit. I was comfortable with that, still am a bit. Only, turns out "fooling around" led to romantic feelings, and that I wasn't comfortable with.
I'm quite happy to hear that you're shaking off the depression! That's always a good thing. I have to say, though, that I don't see much of a future in the situation you described.

This girl is poly. That means she engages in multiple relationships, as that's what poly means. You are not poly. You said you were OK with an open relationship--sex without romantic ties--and not poly. That makes for an incompatible match.

I guess you could always ask her out. If it seems the two of you still have some chemistry and can build something, then you can ask if she's up for an open relationship instead of poly relationships--as the two are different things. If she can't live without doing poly and you can't live with doing poly, then you're not compatible and I don't see much good coming of trying to pursue it.

I know a couple mono women whom I would love to have relationships with and realize that such isn't possible. Those provide an occasional melancholic reverie on what might have been, had we proven compatible.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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