thawing and moving closer?
Last night, I spent time with Amy and now, Willa is over at Amy's place. It's not the relationship of old, but something happened in the past few days that makes me wonder if we're coming up with something healing between us all. It's not just Amy giving Willa keys. It's also the conversation last night.
We spent hours together, dinner and then hanging out and talking about our work lives. Shared stories, laughed our heads off, opened up about all sorts of hard things. We talked about what Willa is seeking, and perhaps there was a sense that it's available to us. It's really possible, after all the pain of the past 2 months, to find back to the place where what we mean to each other can be expressed without really holding back.
It's the constraint of holding back that seems to be underlying a lot of problems. Hiding our affection and emotion. The few times the non-married couples have been more open in public - holding hands together, arms around each other - have been mostly safe, and we're pretty sure that a lot of people in our circle of friends know what is going on. But to be ACTUALLY open? Yeah, that's not possible for us. I wish it were. I'm the more open one, but they are hesitant about the kids, about their friends, and more. They have both said they'd be ready to have ME have a girlfriend, but EACH OTHER?! Well... in the past, no way. Now? Both are more okay with it. Same-sex relationships have taken time to get used to.
Speaking of, Willa HAS been at Amy's for a while. I sure hope they're having fun, cough cough. Laughing.
Who knows what happens next. Amy and I had a GREAT time last night, trusting, open, emotional yet safe. And I spent the night for the first time in a while. Maybe we bridged to a better place. Maybe we're on the way to improving something? I don't know.