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Old 03-13-2014, 05:45 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,915

But to her I am the one hurting it by not "just giving in" to "this one thing".
You could leave it to her to feel disappointed she isn't going to get this "one thing."

You could expect her to handle her emotions.

I told her I don't want to argue or fight, and I don't want to tell her what to feel. I accept and understand how she feels and that's okay. I can't give her what she's asking, but here's what I can do instead. If it's not enough, she is free to decide what her next step is.
Pretty much.

It pains me that she throws in my face she is making a huge sacrifice by moving out "for me."
You could respond with something like

"Thank you. I appreciate your effort to try something new."
And you could say nothing more. Because if she is not choosing to be doing this as a gift, that is her choosing, not yours. You don't automatically "owe her" if she chooses to do things based on her unspoken expectations of "tit-for-tat" of some kind.

What does she say verbatim that you find "throwing it in your face?"

And I do appreciate she is trying something she would rather not. But it hurts (me) that she claims she cannot see any of the positive outcomes this could potentially have for us.
Blue is mine. So... do you need help handling YOUR hurt feelings?

What does her being able to see positive outcomes right this minute have to do with you to choosing to feel hurt/not hurt?

We've discussed the pro's of it for her personally too, and she's agreed, but I don't know if she believes it when she throws it in my face in situations like this.
Again... what does she say verbatim that is "throwing it in your face?" You do not state.

What does she do in her behavior to cause you to think she doesn't believe what she agrees to? Express that she sees it could turn out a positive but at this time she cannot see it IS a positive for sure yet?


Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-13-2014 at 09:25 PM.
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