The main player in this Blog, at least in the early stages, is my soon to be ex-wife, Cinder. I’ll call her Cinder because she is small, and bright. She is hot and can start fires, she certainly did in me, one that has left a large hole burned out of my soul. In a lot of ways she has been the love of my life, and the woman I had worked hardest for, to be with and make a beautiful life together. She has been the one who has lifted me up, and brought me crashing down. She has become my nemesis, and at one time was my best friend, and I miss her so much some times. To see what we have become to each other boggles my mind and at times I can barely make sense of it. I struggle daily with what has become of us, and seek the peace of putting fingers to keys and letting the pain and the joy of having this woman in my heart, in my life.
We met on Craigslist, casual encounters. We were both looking for a lover, both stuck in sexually unsatisfying relationships. I was married, she was living common law with her fiancé. She had negotiated an open relationship, and I had opened mine faced with a sexless marriage and was confronted with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation. Note to poly newbies! Not a great solution
We corresponded and hit it off, working our way up to meeting, and graduating to weekend hotel sex romps. To say that we had insane chemistry is an understatement. We destroyed many a hotel bed. We were two starving sexual beings that found ourselves in each other, and love and attachment soon followed. Around this time my wife snooped my email and read a particularly explicit email from Cinder. Shit got real quick. My marriage was ending, and was going to anyway but my relationship with Cinder was the catalyst for it to happen, then and now. Cinder took a break from me as she dealt with fallout from her side of things, and I worked with my wife to formulate an amicable split, which we did. After that C and I took up again, losing none of our potent intimacy, and soon we were in flaming love again, full bloom.
We moved in together, I moving to be with her in her home, near her family and business. I was eager for relationship, for stability, to put down some roots and to build a life together, it was what we both wanted. That was 7 years ago. I was welcomed into her family, at first with a wary eye because of the dramatic circumstances but soon most of her family warmed up to me. I felt accepted for one of the first times in my life, like I belonged. It was so good.