Dump her. She is a dictator and will never be happy unless she feels she has you under her control. You've put up with her demands long enough! If anyone told me what she told you, it would be incredibly difficult for me not to laugh in their face. I mean, it's absolutely preposterous!
I think I have told you this before, but loving someone is not enough to make a relationship work. We can all love people who are not good for us at all - but loving them doesn't mean we should lay down and be their doormats.
Oftentimes, the most loving thing we can do is et someone go. I think it's time for that, in your case.