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Old 04-10-2010, 04:12 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

LVSC, Your post makes me kind of shudder. I immediately envision you being trapped in your situation by two people that are giving you ultimatums in order for you to feel worthy. You can't ever have sex with him alone, can't ever have your own bed or share intimate time with him? and are being forced to sleep with a woman when you are straight? woah!

I am hoping that they aren't forcing you to be a unicorn, but that is how it read to me.

I will assume that this has all come about largely because of lack of communication. Are you, or have you told them that you require different circumstances to them? Have you put your foot down in a gentle way and said, this is what I need to see happen in order to feel comfortable and happy with the two of you? If you have been, are they listening? Do they blow you off? Are you putting your foot down enough? Even in the moment when he reaches over to her and you are next to them, are you speaking up that you are uncomfortable?

If I were him in the "V" that you are in (and it is a "V" if you are not interested in her more than just a friend) and I found out that my SO was not telling me they were uncomfortable I would be devastated and so apologetic. and frankly a little angry too as I have the expectation that they will communicate with me even when it's hard. The thought that I was "making" anyone do anything is so disturbing to me. Who the hell am I that I should think I can enforce my will on others for my own desire. It's entrapment your situation, if they are in fact "making" you do these things...

I assume you are a grown woman that has just as many rights as I do or they do or anyone on here, or anyone has.... I think it's time to think this way and act this way.... if they object and there are really no ways to find a common ground or goal then move on. Find people who will respect your right to be happy, healthy and loved in the ways that make you special...

Sorry it this comes across strongly, but I am a big advocate to those who are not being treated as they should be in my eyes... I am doing my best to assume these people have just been mislead by you and some communication on your part will make things better for you... I sincerely hope that that is the case.
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