Originally Posted by SimpleSimian
Is there some way to use "I" language effectively to defend against somebody whose response to being upset is "I can't control your feelings, only you can do that?" Basically, she's all like "well you don't like it, tough, live with it. I get to manipulate you all I want, and you can't feel bad about it."
Why bother? I wouldn't waste my time or energy with someone that closed off from their emotions that they would even that let crap fall out of their mouth.
The self protective measure of "your emotions are your emotions" is one of the least compassionate and loving attitudes I have seen personally. What a shitty world this would be if everyone thought this way. If her boyfriend is so soft brained to buy into her crap, perhaps your wife could do better to find a more compatible and secure partner?
The core thing is, not only will your wife's partners affect you (already proven)...but her partners partners will also affect you indirectly or directly.
Sorry to sound so blunt and harsh but this shit makes my blood boil sometimes. Think I'll put this energy into polishing my bike LOL!
Take care my friend. Go out and find a girlfriend or something