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Old 04-10-2010, 06:34 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by kamala View Post
"I want to try this awesome thing, meet new people, learn some new things, experiment etc etc" versus "I already know this person is not going to be enough for me, just by sheer virtue of them being only one person, so I may as well just be honest and not even try being monogamous"

The latter seems cynical because you have already decided that there is this inherent lack...
It's sort of like chocolate cake. Chocolate cake is absolutely delicious, I really love chocolate cake. But no matter how good a chocolate cake might be, even if it's the best chocolate cake in the world, I would still want to include other foods in my diet. This isn't because of an inherent lack of chocolate cake, but because I am not a chocolate-cake-ivore.

Pandas, on the other hand, are bamboo-ivores, and they never care for anything else. This isn't because bamboo is some kind of wonder food, in fact it's just grass. But pandas have evolved to be capable of obtaining all their required nutrients from a single plant.

That being said, while I am "theoretically" poly in that I feel it's how I'm wired, I'm also a solitary sort who was always happy when single, and never felt like I needed to be with someone in order to feel complete or to have my needs met. I meet my own needs. But I would date, always open to the possibilities of something more growing from those casual relationships, and one of them happened to grow into the wonderful marriage I now share with my husband. So now that I'm married, I've just extended attitude to other people, and if it grows then it grows, and if it doesn't then it doesn't.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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