Tnx london, maybe you are right. Maybe it is honest but it is just not what i want to hear from them. And that frustrates me a lot.
What i find diffecult is that ofcourse both have right to make choices. But i feel like it is not as much a choice they are telling me, but a way to force me into a certain direction.
Also, both of them made promisses that are gone by these choices. So even though it is not their intention, it does feel a little unfair, as a lie.
For example my husband promised me i could build on both our relationship as the relationship with my boyfriend. I told him often not to let me go this far with my emotions if he didn't intent on letting me build with the boyfriend too. He said i could do that, even go to be with him for a week. Now, after, i feel like he had hope that i would come back, convinced i should be with only him. He said always he would never put me in the point of forcing to chose. But he does.
For example my boyfriend: he said that he thinks of this situation as a boat. If one of us falls out or is in diffeculties the other 2 should give their hands to help the other one. Now, we are in diffeculties, his solution is to go away. I believe he does still love me, so i don't understand why he thinks stepping out of the boat is the best solution. That was not as he promised before.
And know, there are never garantees in life. And that frustrates me the most. I just wish i could be a loving mother and wife in my family and am able to enjoy the love i get and give to another sweet beautiful kind of love with my new found love.
Straight woman, 34 with:
In love with straight mono husband, 35 (2001, married 2003)
In love with straight mono boyfriend, 44 (may 2013, who lives in another countrie)