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Old 03-09-2014, 08:20 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,863

Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
Is the boyfriend a "boy toy"? I've only been with Sam for 6 weeks but he's no boy toy to me. Hes someone I love who doesn't deserve to be dumped on my husband's whim.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with this perspective - but, in my personal timeline, 6 weeks is...well, a blink of the eye. At the six week mark, I would barely consider myself to have truly "met" someone - let alone be in a relationship. Whenever Dude would be befuddled about not understanding some aspect of me, I would respond with..."Of course you don't know me that well yet, we have only been together for a minute." Just last week I admitted that we had been together for longer than "a minute" (it will be three years in April - and he has been living with us full time for most of that).

To be fair - I am really VERY guarded with my emotions. I was practically living with MrS (sleeping with him and spending the majority of my time and nights with him) for 6 months before I finally admitted that he was my "boyfriend" (took me 18 mos to finally tell him that I "loved" him). (Dude cut those times about in half, after all I've had twice as much practice)

That being said - NO ONE deserved to have their heart yanked about on someone's "whim"...


PS. My timeframe is definitely skewed - since, for me, the "real" relationship doesn't even start until the NRE has worn off...before that it is just a "crush" (or infatuation)...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-09-2014 at 08:23 AM.
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