Thanks Ry, I have already read a lot of your journey too and though it has a bumpy path, I'm glad you are in a place of contentment now.
I'm going to admit right now that I have the predisposition toward being manipulative. That should be obvious right from the time I got Curls and Freckles together in a restaurant to try to get them comfortable with each other. I did the same thing now, only much more drastically.
You see, Curls is always at her most open-minded state right after we have sex. The more mind-blowing the sex, the more open to suggestion she is. I took her to dinner one night and we came back to a house empty, the kids gone over to their grandmother's house for the weekend. To get to the point, Curls and I were laying in bed afterwards and rehashing a couple months worth of sexual partners. She was already aware that I had told Freckles about our swinger lifestyle and although Curls had given me permission to hook up with Freckles, we never had.
I have already 'fessed up about this, so I can write it knowing full well that my wonderful wife is going to read it.
But, I railroaded her into being the one to initiate the "what exactly IS Freckles to us?" conversation. Instead of coming straight out and saying "Why don't we try for something more with her?", I let Curls ask the question for me. Now... we have had more threesomes than I can remember, both of the MMF and MFF variety, but this would be the first time we have ever considered letting someone into our bed that we were more than casually friendly with.
We talked it over VERY carefully, and Curls was actually much more receptive than I ever thought she would be. I shouldn't have been that surprised, though. The two of them had become friends since they met, occasionally going out and having lunch together, or going shopping together when I was at work. This didn't prevent Curls from being apprehensive. We had been mono for a LONG time, and we both had to seriously consider what this would mean to us, but we didn't want to do it alone.
The next night we invited Freckles over. Kids were still gone and the three of us sat in our bedroom on the bed facing each other and drinking Mike's hard lemonade. We reaffirmed that all three of us were interested in moving forward and then we talked until the sun came up. We tried to touch on everything we could.
Our house, for one, seemed to be tailor made for our arrangement. It was a custom job and has a bizarre floor plan. One thing that works out for us is that the master bedroom closed is a "jack and jill" closet shared with one of the guest rooms. We decided that Freckles would move into that guest room. She could freely come and go through that door into our room and vice versa. At night we would keep the bedroom doors locked and she would sleep in our bed when she wanted to, but had the freedom to keep her own space if she so desired it. We decided that there would be no PDAs in front of the kids. We are more than aware that the secret can't keep forever, especially from our oldest daughter, but for the time being we didn't want to let on about our lifestyle.
I pointed out that commitment is a rough thing for Freckles, and she has been terrified from the beginning of messing up and letting us down, but we have tried to make things as easy for her as we can. Despite giving her the option to do her own thing, she decided that she wanted to abide by the same rules that Curls and I keep for each other... Full disclosure about where we are outside the house, no unprotected sex with anyone outside the triad, and always be back home before sunrise.
As it turns out. That was our first night sleeping together as a triad. (no sex, we were exhausted) It was also the last night Freckles slept in the middle. My god... she moves around in her sleep more than anyone I have ever seen in my life. Now we take turns on who has to be next to her and spend the night getting kicked and punched in our sleep.