LONG before poly was EVER a part of my life;
I made it clear to all of my friends and family that if someone has the audacity to write a hard limit in MY life about who I have in my life-they will be the one to exit stage left.
It's TOTALLY ok for someone to say "I love you but I don't want to see/spend time with/associate with xyz".
it is NOT acceptable for them to tell me who I can or can't socialize with.
If my spouse said to me "this relationship is a problem" I would take some serious time to sit with myself (not with either partner) over the topic.
Because my spice know me and if they think I'm head over heels for someone that isn't healthy for me-they may be right. They also may be wrong-but it's definitely worth serious consideration.
But-I don't do ultimatums in regards to my relationships. I love. We can negotiate time, we can negotiate location. We can not negotiate my heart.
"Love As Thou Wilt"