Husband want me to chose between him and my bf
Well, trying polyamory since 8-10 months, we have been going downwards till the point where my husband (mono) says he want me to chose between him and me boyfriend. I think what was most diffecult was the holliday i had with the bf a month ago. After that i felt like it was only negative, couldn't find positive point with my husband.
In my opinion we have both made mistakes, for people new in poly. I see chances to improve, but he has said to me that he gives me as much time as i need to decide, but that he has closed the door of poly. The last week was terrible for all 3. I realy feel i cannot chose between different kind of love. I feel like i will lose either way. Or my husband, father of our 3 children, my basic, my life (family friends, dreams of the future). Or my boyfriend, who makes me feel alive, who is the kind of love that works addictive, who gives me a passionate kind of love... I am torn! Not only losing one of them but also losing one part of myself.
I realy don't know what to do. I asked my husband to consider new options and while he does that i will prove i can balance more. Since monday (when he told me), i practise that. Also i am so happy that he is willing to go to couples counseling. I found a man who is skilled, who is known with poly and he is able to start next friday!
This gives me hope for finding good results, whatever the good answer will be. I have no idea.
If anyone has good advice, please, cause i don't know what to do!