I don't have "control" over who my partner's date. I give feedback on my thoughts and impressions and they may take those into account (I also give my non-sexual friends my impressions when we talk about their relationships). Much in the same way we don't control who the others are friends with - it's nice if everyone gets along and we can hang out BUT some of my friends are just friends with me, etc. (everyone is civil to everyone else - but each friendship is different, no one has to hang out with someone they find irritating or boring just because I happen to be friends with them).
If my partners behavior affects me then we talk about what has to change in OUR relationship to keep things healthy (i.e. if we need more "together time" or someone is slacking in their responsibilities). Obviously this may effect things in their other relationships...say I want my husband to go to a family function as my support person and another partner wants him for a date night (or a friend wants him for a get together). It is up to HIM to negotiate each of HIS relationships' needs/wants. Just as it is my responsibility to take into account each of my partners' needs/wants (as well as my OWN!).
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-08-2014 at 01:26 AM.