Is life supposed to be this surreal?
I'm going to have to tell this story in several parts. It takes me time to get everything together in my head and lay it down in a coherent fashion. (or at least what would sound coherent to another human being.) As such, there are things that I'm going to leave out from time to time that will hopefully be filled in by the two absolutely wonderful women in my life as they read this.
I suppose the best way to start would be to say that the best day of my life was fifteen years ago (give or take a bit) when my wife and I got married. It was an elopement. She was 18 and I was 22 at the time. We were already pregnant and neither of our parents thought that we were going to last beyond a few years. And to be totally truthful, there were times that we didn't believe we would either. But the good times are always what seems to stick in your memory and that was an amazing time. Fifteen years later I still remember being nervous and hearing the same nervousness reflected back at me as she spoke her part of our wedding vows.
My wife has beautifully long and curly hair. In fact, it's something that strikes me so much about her that I will be referring to her as "Curls" throughout this story.
Two months later the first of our three daughters was born. They were spaced evenly. Once every three years for most of the next decade we had a baby. It was hard at first, very hard. We weren't any more equipped to be parents than we were to be married. She was a stay at home mom and I was working a low paying job. It's a miracle we survived to get to where we are today.
Things improved. I finished college and got a decent job, not the best job, but the right one for me. Most people hate the retail environment, I absolutely love it. Curls went to college and didn't just stop at the bachelors degree I have, she went on to get her Ph.D. in English. I couldn't have been more proud of her if I tried. She is in the education field right now. I will never say more about it than that. Nowhere will I find people that understand the need for secrecy more than I will here. We live a lifestyle that isn't considered mainstream acceptable and I unfortunately I think it will remain that way for many years to come.
Our trip down the road to polyamory started about five years ago. It's amazing how some things can go unsaid in a relationship for years, sometimes even a decade or more. After a very, very intense sexual encounter between Curls and I, we spent the entire night talking. We already had our guards and inhibitions way down, and it led to us talking about having other sexual partners. We realized that we were both interested in doing so under very controlled circumstances. That led to our first experiments with swinging. Some of them were very good, some of them were almost comically bad. We went on a swinging cruise and met a lot of really awesome people and it sparked a total change in our lifestyle.
I will discuss this more as time goes on, but I have come to the conclusion over the years that sexual "stuffiness" is the cause for way more relationship problems than anything else. For Curls and I, almost all marital problems we had vanished as soon as we allowed others into the bedroom. How is this such a mechanism for change? I have no idea, but in our case it worked.
I had never even HEARD the word "polyamory" until about a year ago. And oddly enough, it was from the mouth of the third member of our triad.
Every summer, the store I am a manager in gets a few dozen new employees. This was how I met Freckles. A 22 year old music major with long red hair and freckles covering her entire body, she was one of the most horrific employees I ever had. She was absolutely useless. You can't see me grinning ear to ear as I'm typing this, so it sounds more harsh than it really is. Freckles was terrible. She showed up late, she was sneaking her phone out to text every single time I had my back turned. I gritted my teeth every time I saw her.
One day I went to Taco Bell to get dinner after work and she was there. She's incredibly outgoing, and though I didn't want any company, she came and sat down at my table and we started talking. And I'm so glad we did. She turned out to have the exact same taste in me about EVERYTHING. Movies, books, music... we like all of the same stuff. This dinner date thing turned into a routine. We met two or three days a week and just talked, sometimes for hours.
I'm not going to pretend that I was relieved when she quit her job and took a new one. Some of the reasons for my relief were wholesome, others not so much. She sucked as an employee, but I missed seeing her face at work. Still, I already was becoming very attracted to her, and I knew that nothing would ever be able to happen as long as she worked for me.
Curls was a the first big obstacle to what came next...
Very tired. Going to continue writing tomorrow.