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Old 04-09-2010, 08:31 PM
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SimpleSimian SimpleSimian is offline
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I absolutely would have pursued her, regardless, but she might not have. She did tell me she would not have married me if she knew I had so many problems (because I do), because she was under the impression she was marrying a stable guy who had his shit together (I definitely did not exude that aura -- I lived with my mom, I was 21, and I worked tech support for $25k/year. I had no car of my own. I was immature, and I lived by my mother's schedule. Until I got fired on the same day I bought my new car, and then subsequently moved in with her. And then remained unemployed for 6 months. I have no idea how that looked like I had my shit together.). But we talked about it, and, in the end, we have both improved immeasurably since our marriage. Instead of just fighting, saying we're breaking up, and then turning around a couple of hours later, try to break the bed, and then ignoring our problems until the next fight, we have fought to keep the marriage together and stable, and used it as a strong foothold while we climb our way to being better people. She and I have both improved so much and matured greatly since getting married. So we definitely don't regret it. We just regret not having good communication skills until very recently, and avoiding talking about REAL problems at the CORE of our relationship. Too bad, but hell, we still love one another, and we're still trying to grow together. That's what counts, right? If one of those disappears, it's usually only temporary. If both disappear, then maybe there's a real problem that we can't fix; but in the middle of a fight or a deep depression are the only times we don't feel our love for one another, and only because the depression or anger is in the way.

Last edited by SimpleSimian; 04-09-2010 at 08:33 PM.
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