Thread: open or poly?
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Old 03-05-2014, 09:17 PM
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Smiles Smiles is offline
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 74

Originally Posted by Nadya View Post
You told in this thread:

My thoughts considering this quote and the thread here: If she has a history of doing such big sacrifices for you, it might very well be that this open marriage arrangement is another one of those.

You are saying that she is not very good at expressing her emotions to you. Now I ask you: Are you willing and able to hear, comprehend and accept her emotions? In this child issue, you did not really listen to her reservations and talked her into having a baby "for you". Now you say you love her for that.

Now, this opening up thing. Maybe it will be another sacrifice, and she counts on you not really ever taking her emotions for real and that you will love her if she makes herself miserable - just like she did with becoming a mom.

Of course I hope this is not the case, but this history would make me very cautious to proceed.

My wife always knew I wanted a family..she always said some day she would. When we split up, that was part of the reason. So when she moved out, I bought a house and I started to date other women...

She started calling me and wanted to know about my dates...Then she decided that she wanted to come back..Maybe when she realized that other women were showing interest, she didn't want me to get away...For a long time she was all affectionate which is what I wanted. We soon got married. She always knew I wanted a family and she wasn't honest with me at the very beginning. Maybe she was afraid of losing me again...We are friends, we co-parent, we have the companionship, and here lately, we have more sex and better quality sex than we did for the first 17 plus years...She just does it for me so we stay married. I know she enjoys sex and she climaxes.She did tell me she doesnt feel more loved with sex.

As far as emotions? I have to force it out of her. If she would of told me 20 years ago that she didn't want kids, I may have moved on...Now, My family , is the most important thing in this world to me. I would never do anything to hurt my wife.

I know this open marriage may not be the best solution. It seems to be working to improve intimacy between us...if its real...

If we were to go to a MC, the whole truth would come out. She doesnt want that.

Last edited by Smiles; 03-05-2014 at 09:19 PM.
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